Love around the world
As we approach Valentine’s Day, we’ve been turning our minds to how different cultures celebrate and express love and affection. Whilst so many elements of global culture have been diluted by Westernisation, exports and social media, love and affection remain mired in tradition and cultural nuance.
The language of love is often said to be universal and anthropologists are generally agreed that love is transcultural. A landmark study by Sprecher compared love and relationships between Russians, Japanese and Americans and found that despite some cultural differences, the broad premise of ‘being in love’ was consistent across cultures. [1]
Yet interesting cultural differences exist. According to North American folklore, when a couple are getting engaged, they would have to spend time together in silence in order to assess whether they felt comfortable with one another without the needs for words. The Japanese have a traditional culture whereby public displays and expressions of affection are not common. You may go out on group dates with friends, but the relationship has not technically started until a ‘kokuhaku’ or confession (translated as ‘I love you. Can we start seeing each other?’) is made as a formal announcement between individuals, whereby someone states they want to make a commitment to the other party, and can be made by a man or a woman. In the Philippines, a tradition of mass wedding ceremonies has swept the country leading hundreds of couples to gather at malls or other public areas around the country to get married or renew their vows en masse.
By comparison, in many collectivist cultures, for instance Indian and some African communities, committed love is seen as a contract between families rather than individuals. At the ‘proposal’ stage, the first meeting sees the son and his parents offer the family gifts, whilst the ‘acceptance’ phase sees the bride (and her family) being the decision makers.
Some romantic traditions have obvious roots across cultures, whereas others are quirky and occasionally amusing to Western eyes. Take for instance, the custom in Japan of starry-eyed girls making elaborate packed lunches for the objects of their affection, or Zulu girls giving ‘ucus’ or love letters (brightly coloured beads) to their beau. In Fiji, a hopeful prospective son in law will gift a highly polished tooth of a sperm whale to his sweetheart’s father. Like many parts of the world, South Africa celebrates Valentine's Day with festivals, flowers and other tokens of love. However, it's also customary for women to wear their hearts on their sleeves by pinning the names of their love interest on their shirtsleeves, an ancient Roman tradition known as Lupercalia. Finland hosts the wife-carrying championships every year (with the prize for the male winner his own body weight in beer!).
So, what to buy your loved one on February 14th? If you are in need for some inspiration that goes beyond the usual chocolates and roses, take note that in Germany, the traditional Valentine’s gift is a pig statue, and that in Slovenia, you show your love for your partner on the day by walking barefoot through the snow. If the commercialisation and marked up prices of Western Europe’s approach to Valentine’s day, leaves you feeling out of pocket and resentful of the relentless commercialism associated with the festival, take pity on the South Koreans, for whom it is celebrated monthly from February to April. The gift-giving starts on February 14th, when it is the responsibility of the ladies to woo their men with chocolates, candies and flowers. The tables turn on March 14th, a holiday known as White Day, when men not only shower their sweethearts with chocolates and flowers, but up the ante with a gift. For those who don't have much to celebrate on either Valentine's Day or White Day, there is a third holiday: Black Day. On April 14th, where it's customary for singles to mourn their solitary status by eating dark bowls of jajangmyeon, or black bean-paste noodles!
LOVE AND BEST WISHES, MAGENTA
[1] The Standard Cross Cultural Sample, Jankowiak and Fischer 1992
